Here’s what 80 days on the road looks like:

As you can only imagine, 80 days, 5,767 miles and 137 hours of windshield time have given me plenty of time to think! Looking back over this time, here are a few things I have learned along the way:

1. Our country is beautiful, diverse, and unpredictable.

2. I may have a tattoo addiction … time will tell.

3. I’m not bad company if I do say so myself.

4. I love hiking and being outside in general. I never thought of myself as an outdoor girl, so this one was surprising!

5. While I still LOVE a good to-do list and looking ahead at the goals I want to accomplish, I am getting WAY better at spending my time in-the-moment, and being intentional with the people I am with rather than looking forward at the next task.

6. I like living in little downtown areas. Walkability is now important to me!

7. I can make great decisions for myself, and those decisions can be fluid. They don’t have to be written in stone, it’s ok to change my mind and pivot when necessary.

8. I have a lot of passion and love to give to the right person. And I’ll never settle again for anyone less than “the one”.

9. I wouldn’t be against moving somewhere new if my new location had direct flights to Atlanta, Salt Lake City, and San Diego. I’m keeping my head, my heart, and my options open.

10. I have never felt healthier or happier in my life.

11. I have the best friends and family who love and support me, even in the middle of this hair-brained shenanigan I am on. Grateful for these people in my life. Susan 1.0 may have thought I didn’t deserve this love … but Susan 2.0 knows better.

12. I am getting better at trusting and listening to my intuition than I ever have before.

13. The gas budget I put together (pre-Russian invasion of Ukraine) for this trip is a joke and only getting “jokier”. Contributions to my gas fund will be accepted via my Venmo account. Joking, but not really.

14. I am a fan of Crumbl cookies. They are seriously delicious and could impact my road trip bucket list goal of losing 10 pounds while traveling.

15. I will not let time and distance come between relationships that matter anymore. My priorities have changed.

16. I love true crime podcasts and can’t stop listening to them. My better judgment, as a lone traveler, tells me to stop listening. But I can’t. Maybe I actually like living in a state of edginess?

17. I don’t need a TV in my bedroom. None of the rooms I have stayed in had TVs and I haven’t missed it at all! Another shocker.

18. When I don’t have Mowgli to walk, I miss it. Our daily walks have improved my mental and physical health.

19. Eighty days go by way too fast. I can’t believe I have completed two-thirds of my trip. I feel like it’s been a blink of my eyes.

20. I can do hard things. I’ve gone on death marches in the desert. I’m traveling by myself. I learned how to use a firearm. I attempted surfing in rough waters. I made the scary decision that it’s better to be alone rather than be with someone and be lonely. I’m excited about the challenges and hard things that are coming. And maybe a little scared too.

I have 42 days until my Next Chapter Best Chapter road trip will come to end. I’m fairly confident I won’t be ready for it to end… so heads up to my friends and family who live in the 22 states I did not visit. You may be getting a message from me. For right now, the nomad life seems to be working just fine for me. So, I’ll be making the most of these last 6 weeks. For real-time updates, follow my stories on Instagram and Facebook!

If you have been following along, you know I have been riding shotgun with my hooman on her 4-month road trip across the United States. My hooman is a recently divorced empty-nester on a road trip that will take her across the United States, visiting friends and family, and hopefully figure out her next best life. Even though I don’t have opposable thumbs, I’m hi-jacking this blog post because I wanted to take a minute to get a few things straight, for the record.

First, no one asked my opinion on this hair-brained scheme. I’ll never forget the day, Saturday, March 5, 2022. I woke up leisurely, as I always do, and I aggressively ate my boring breakfast of kibble. When I had finished, my hooman came at me with my harness. I hate that thing. So I stubbornly ran under the table. When she finally coerced me out from under the table with some cheese, she snapped that contraption on me and loaded me into her Bronco. She hooked me up to my doggy car seat which I must admit is pure luxury. Before I knew it, we were off. I thought we were headed to the Home Depot, where I am everyone’s favorite and all the workers give me treats. But we just kept going and going and going. I was very perplexed, so I just slept and kept my mom company by snoring loudly. She likes when I do that.

Initially, all this traveling made me out-of-sorts, I wouldn’t eat or drink. If you know me at all, that’s never a problem. I was distraught. What is wrong with this woman? Was she having some sort of mid-life crisis and was I going to pay the price for it? Only time would tell.

I eventually got used to the driving and became the best co-pilot out there. Although my hooman wishes I could navigate and find the best gas prices along the route, I still don’t have opposable thumbs and struggle to make her phone work for me. Besides, your homie doesn’t have time for that…only naps.

We have officially completed the first half of our Next Chapter Best Chapter Road trip. From my point of view, here are the good, the bad, and the ugly things that have happened to me – a Pug on a Road Trip.

The Good:

Meeting my long-lost furry relatives.

My preference is for humans, because they give treats and pets, but I did come to love the relatives I have met along the way:

My cousin Sir Vandiver Brandon of the Great Salt Lake. I like to call him Van, he’s more of a goofball than a fancypants as that name would imply. Van took me to his school where I was called chonky, but also sweet, so I let the body shaming comment go. It was my first time at a school, so I was happy to have Van show me the ropes. We also went on walks around the city, where he showed me his favorite pee spots and when our hoomans went out we guarded the house by sleeping soundly and not moving at all.

Lolly, the Belle of the Esplanade. My hooman loved to take Lolly and me on walks together on the Esplanade overlooking the Pacific Ocean. Lolly had lots of hooman friends she introduced me to, specifically the retiree bunch that gathered early in the mornings. They gave lots of free pets. I liked that. I am a bit concerned that Lolly may have a drug problem. My hooman left my doggy suitcase on the ground and Lolly ate all my pain meds. Our hoomans went straight into panic mode, but thankfully Lolly was a-ok. Just a bit sleepy and constipated after that binge. I’m wondering if we may need an intervention.

Aurora, aka Naughty Kitty. Naughty Kitty was not fond of me at first but did come to tolerate me by the end of our stay in Redondo Beach. Thankfully I am hard of hearing and did not hear all of her hissings at me when I walked by. She may have been reacting to my snorting, but let’s face it, cats are a hard bunch to read.

Hoomans still love me.

I have seen so many hoomans along the way and thankfully I am still the favorite. I’m not sure if it’s my svelt body, my squished face, or my floppy ears that steal the hearts of humans everywhere. My real mom, Zia even hosted a party in my honor in a mansion in La Jolla, CA. I’m pretty much an A-lister now. All the cool kids follow me.

Visiting new places.

I’ve been to so many new places including 10 new states, 3 National Parks, the Pacific Ocean, the Wasatch Mountains, and so many dog-friendly restaurants. I am a world traveler. And, we’ve got 61 days left of our trip!

My hooman is so gullible.

One of the things I have loved the most on this trip is how I have my hooman wrapped around my little toe bean. My favorite example is how I pretend I can’t walk up three flights of stairs at our Salt Lake City Airbnb, and so she carries me up the stairs in her arms.

Like a baby.

I’m no slouch, I know what I’m doing.

The Bad:

Nap, Interrupted.

My hooman keeps me so busy, that I’m not getting my usual level of napping in. So rude. I love when she is so busy working I get some long naps in the books.

Dazed and confused.

We are moving around so much, that I never know where I am going to be when I wake up! We have stayed in eight different places, from my hooman’s friend’s homes to hotels, to family homes and even a glamper!

Capsule wardrobe?

It seems like my hooman only packed 3 outfits. She wears the same things over and over again. She’s weird and lacks imagination.

Being influential against my will.

My hooman is trying to make me an influencer against my will. She’s constantly taking my picture and making videos of me. She loves posting these videos on TikTok, then laughing at me. There has got to be a law about this type of exploitation. If you are a lawyer, please hit me up. I could use some pro-bono work.

The Ugly:

Oh bother, let’s be honest. If traveling the country, seeing exciting things, watching my hooman live out her dream is ugly, then I don’t want to be pretty. We are only halfway finished, I can’t wait to see where we go next!

Thanks for following our journey! Follow me on Instagram @mowglithemanpug and my hooman at @susanskimmel

Holy Guacamole! I’ve been on the road for FIFTY DAYS!!! For those of you who are new to this blog, I am a recently divorced empty-nester and on March 5, 2022, I loaded up my car and my dog and started a 4-month journey. I am touring the United States, visiting family and friends and seeing all the sights. I will be touring 5 of the 6 U.S. states I have never visited. And even more importantly, I am going on an adventure of self-discovery – my own little Eat, Pray, Love journey.

Here are a few updates to the statistics I am tracking:

• 4681 miles driven
• 103 hours in my Bronco
• 11 states I have traveled through (Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, Tennessee, Arkansas, Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, California, Nevada, Utah)
• $5.70 highest gas price I have paid on 3/18/22 in Banning, California
• 6 hikes – some were death marches (Chelsey)
• 5 Friends and family homes I have stayed in
• 4 National Parks visited (Petrified Forest, Sedona, Joshua Tree, Zion)
• 2 Airbnbs stayed in
• 2 new tattoos

If you have been following along, you know that on my 56th birthday, I created a 56 item Road Trip Bucket list to complete during my travels. I’ve been crossing off items as I go, 16 to be exact! Many of the items are specifically for when I begin visiting states I’ve never been to, which will be mid-May. Check out my list and the current status. NOTE: The one-night stand was a joke, but it’s been a hot minute, and crazily, many of you are in favor of that item being checked off! So, time will tell if that happens!

Here’s a list of my recent check-offs:

1. Go to Disneyland
2. Try surfing
3. Eat something I’ve never eaten – Nilgai cheeseburger
4. Listened to the entire #EnneaSummer2021 podcast series
5. Swim in the Pacific Ocean
6. Exercise at the beach
7. Receive a ticket or violation

Besides working my full-time job and my side hustles, I’ve also done a ton of fun things not on my Bucket List since my last blog post. (Follow along on Instagram and Facebook for real-time updates on my stories)

Highlights over the last 20 days:

• Spent two weeks in Redondo Beach with my brother and his sweet family doing all the things, but mostly just loving being a part of their daily family life!
• Amazing farmer’s markets with exotic products we don’t see in Georgia
• Macrame with my oldest niece
• Dog walking with my youngest niece
• Learning mad video skillz from my nephew
• Early morning chats with my brother over his gourmet coffee
• Daytime chats and walks with my sister-in-law
• Being the 3rd wheel on their weekly date night
• Heartfelt conversation over dinner with Doreen, my sorority sister, who I hadn’t seen since 1988
• Lunch and inspiring and hopeful conversation with Dawn, my childhood best friend, who I hadn’t seen since 1980
• Driving by my childhood home
• Lunch with my older brother and sister-in-law in Las Vegas
• Visited Zion National Park on my way to Salt Lake City
• Cocktails and crafts with Zoe
• Hauling Mowgli up 3 flights of stairs, 4 times a day
• Heather McMahan Farewell Tour in downtown SLC
• Hikes and walks with Zoe, Hutton, Van & Mowgli

I am spending time on this trip reflecting and doing hard inner work. It goes against my nature to look too deep into my emotions and my past. I am the queen of pushing through and shoving things down because that’s safe for me. It’s hard to do on your own, so next week I begin working with a spiritual mentor to help me with some of the things blocking me from living the life God intends for me. So stay tuned friends! It’s about to get REAL!

Now, on to the little series, I am calling:

What would 56-year-old Susan tell “then” Susan?
Chapter 3: What would 56-year-old Susan tell 23-year-old Susan?

(Read the last two posts for advice I would give 13-year-old and 18-year-old Susie.)

Let me set the stage for you: I have just graduated from the University of South Dakota with my MBA. I went straight to graduate school because I had a lot of fun in undergrad. A 3.2 GPA in business administration in 1988 would have landed me an assistant manager job at Foot Locker. That didn’t sound fun. I knew I could do better. I committed to kicking ass. So I did. Upon graduation, I interviewed at companies in South Dakota and Nebraska, but I was ready to get the heck out of dodge. So, I accepted a position that moved me to Detroit, MI. I happily hitched my hunter-green Chevy Citation to the back of a Ryder Truck and moved myself to The Motor City.

Throwback to Detroit, 1989-1990

I look back at this time of my life and I admire this Susan. She was a total badass. She was living her best life.

Here’s what I would tell that young lady:

I’m proud of you for taking that job and making that move. It was bold, courageous, and helped you grow into the woman you are now. You will look back on this time in your life and it will give you courage and boldness you will need to draw on in the future.

You will work hard. You will play harder! That is a good thing. Make sure you do that. You can sleep later.

Work is important, but not more important than relationships. Pay attention to the friends you make during this time and the relationships you are building. If they mean something to you, don’t let them go. You don’t want to look back 30 years and wish you had maintained those relationships.

You didn’t have to change your name from Susie to Susan because you thought it was more “business-like.” Who cares what people think of your name? There were many strong and amazing things you accomplished as Susie. Susie may seem like a little girl’s name, but for you, it was powerful.

What would you tell your 23-year-old self?

Highlights from the last 10 days of my Next Chapter Best Chapter Road Trip

If you have been following along, you know my first 3 weeks were a whirlwind of driving, visiting, hiking, working, touristing (I made that word up!). These last 10 days have been a much-needed time of rest and routine. I have spent the last 16 days at my older brother’s home, where he has graciously allowed my youngest daughter to live while she is in graduate school and working. He and his family do not live here full time, so it has just been me and Zia here. He has a beautiful home, in a beautiful city. We did some fun things like visiting Joshua Tree, Ocean Beach dog beach, the Flower Fields in Carlsbad, and the tide pools at Point Loma. We dressed up and went to a candlelight tribute to Taylor Swift by a string quartet. We have had great meals and enjoyed the amazing views San Diego offers. But what I have loved the most is spending time with my daughter on just “regular” days. It’s so fun to just “be” with your grown children when it’s not a holiday or event, and you get to see them in their normal day-to-day activities. We both worked full-time during my stay, and she has also gone to class. I have been able to experience her life alongside her. I met many of her closest friends, and it gave me comfort knowing that she has people looking out for her in this new life she is building across the country. I also had some quality alone time with myself. I am working on loving my own company, and so far, I haven’t annoyed myself too much yet!

Today, Mowgli and I will be leaving San Diego and heading up to visit with my younger brother, his wife, and their three kids. They also live in a beautiful home, in a beautiful city, with amazing views. I am looking forward to walking Mowgli with an ocean view every morning. But, again, what I am most excited about is getting to know my brother, sister-in-law, and their 3 kiddos on a deeper level. I left for college out of state when my brother was in second grade, and we have never lived in the same state since then. The times we have been together since then have been holidays and busy times where it’s hard to get to know people. So, I’m pumped to help with morning routines, be at their house when the kids get home from school, and hopefully just blend into their lives for the next 12 days. Yep – they are saints for letting me be a guest that long!

Now, on to the little series I am calling:

What would 56-year-old Susan tell “then” Susan?

Chapter 2: What would 56-year-old Susan tell 18-year-old Susie?

NOTE: If you didn’t read about 13-year-old Susie, you may want to jump back to the previous post.

NOTE AGAIN: I am not one to live in regret, and I do understand that every part of my previous life has led me to this part of my life. Let me be clear, I don’t wish for my past to be erased or changed. This is “therapy” for me as I look back on the pivotal moments of my life and try to learn from and lean into my past experiences as I move into my new chapter.

1984 – Let me set the stage for you.
Eighteen-year-old me could not wait to leave Nebraska. My whole high school career was based on that one objective – going to college in a different state. I did apply to the University of Nebraska, for college, but that was my backup, to the backup, to the backup school. It wasn’t that I thought I was too good for Nebraska, I just wanted new adventures. I wanted to meet new people, and do new things. I was raised by parents who left home and moved to new, faraway places. And that is how I was raised. It was expected that we would leave home and go far, far away…and don’t forget to take your lunch. See you at Christmas break.

With those things in mind, here are a few things 56-year-old me would tell 18-year-old Susie:

The next 5 years are going to be full of decision-making. You are good at making fast decisions and making them work. But, there is nothing wrong with taking time when thinking about big decisions. Not all decisions need to be made quickly.

Adventure is good. Running is not good. You will not be a new person just because you move to a new place.

Slow down. You don’t have to always be achieving or checking things off your to-do list.

What do you want? Think about that. Don’t think about what you think other people want. Don’t think about what you “should” do.

Boys are great. Girlfriends are better. Stay in touch with your friends, and don’t let life get in the way. You will have FOMO when you are 50 years old and see your college friends getting together and you aren’t part of that.

The Freshman 15 is legit. But it’s ok. You will lose it. Drink the beer, and eat the pizza. It’s all part of the experience.

What advice would you give your 18-year-old self?

If you don’t already, follow me on Instagram and Facebook. I am posting daily on my stories of all my adventures! Here are a few highlights from the last 10 days!

• 35 hours in my car
• 2,110 miles driven
• 8 states traveled through (Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, Tennessee, Arkansas, Texas, New Mexico, Arizona.
• 1 National Park visited – Petrified Forest National Park
• 8 friends visited with 124 years total since I had seen them
• 10 Gas Fill Ups
• $3.39/gallon in Wichita Falls, TX on 3/7/22 – Lowest gas price
• $4.59/gallon in Gilbert, AZ on 3/10/22 – Highest gas price
• 1 Hike at the San Tan Mountain Regional Park
• 3 Instagram Reels, 4 TikTok Videos, and way too many Instagram and Facebook Stories to count!
• 1,000,000 – the number of times I have said “I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS MY LIFE!”

Lessons learned in Week 1:

Don’t let friendships get lost in the day-to-day busyness of life: I reconnected with seven friends I hadn’t seen in years and in some cases decades. While we easily and quickly fell back into the step as if we had never been apart, I think of all the wasted years in between. Life gets busy, I know that as much as anyone. But relationships are what life is about. Set aside some time to reach out to a friend you haven’t talked to in a while. Go have coffee or a zoom happy hour and catch up. I promise you won’t regret it.

Don’t stop at gas stations with dog runs: Somewhere in the middle of Mississippi, I stopped at a Love’s Travel Center that had a dog run. I thought it was a good idea. The dog run was small and had 3 large dogs in it, so I decided to just walk Mowgli around the grassy area. Bad decision – there were SO MANY smells, Mowgli got so worked up, it took him an hour back in the car to finally calm down. And people who travel with their dogs and stop at truck stops don’t believe in cleaning up after their dogs. You guys – it was DISGUSTING!

When God closes a door, know he is protecting you or planning on something even better than you could have imagined: I feel like I have always known this, but sometimes it’s hard to remember. Sometimes we get reminded of it when a door we thought was wide open for us gets abruptly and firmly slammed in our face, as it did for me this week. For a hot minute, I was so angry and didn’t understand why this opportunity fell through. But when I took some time to pray and think about it, I know that God ALWAYS has my back. I’m not sure what that will look like, but that slammed door now has me SO EXCITED and on the lookout for what He has planned in my life. That slammed door has given me the freedom to be open to the outrageous and the unexpected. So…stay tuned, and let’s all hope God reveals that plan in the next four months! Wouldn’t that be exciting?

Listen to new music: There is comfort in the known and listening to songs that bring back memories of great times and places. But there is also something amazing about opening yourself up to new songs, new styles of music, and new memories.  Thanks to my son Zach for setting up some great playlists for me, and helping me to create new memories tied to those songs along the way!

Be nice: Being on the road for over 35 hours, it’s so important to be nice. It’s EASY to be snarky and short-tempered, but it’s so much better to be nice. Let the trucker in, even if he is going below the speed limit on a hill while passing another trucker. Move to the right, even when you don’t want to get behind that car that is going way too slow, but the person behind you is obviously in a hurry. Be polite and nice to the gas station attendants, they see weary travelers all day.

Take a detour: You don’t always have to be on a schedule. Some unplanned stops on my trip were some of the best resting and reset points along the way. Mowgli and I hung out in Tupelo, MS at Elvis’s birthplace where Mowgli got a ton of pets from all the tourists, and I got a need stretching of my legs. At the Cadillac Ranch outside of Amarillo, TX we met a super sweet couple who we chatted with for a while, and Mowgs and I got our first road trip picture together. And I got the best scenery pictures so far at the Petrified National Forest in Arizona. 

It’s ok to feel the feelings: I am an Enneagram 3 and the last thing an Enneagram 3 wants to do is feel our feelings. I am an expert at stuffing down my feelings, and quite frankly wear it like a badge of honor! “I’m fine. I’m good. I’m great. I’m awesome.” But, this trip is designed for me to heal and restore my soul so I can live a life of joy and freedom from guilt, shame, and others’ expectations. So, I forced myself to spent a lot of time on the road just feeling the feelings of the last 12 years of my life. From sadness to joy, heartbreak to happiness. And that was a good thing.

If you don’t already, follow me on Instagram and Facebook. I am posting daily on my stories of all my adventures!

I’ve rarely played a game I didn’t like. Except The Comparison Game. Worst.Game.Ever. This game doesn’t discriminate. All ages and genders can play this stupid game. It isn’t reserved for only young teenage girls who compare themselves to super models and Instagram influencers.  This game can be played by 50-something women who are smart, confident and have life experiences that no one can compare.  Even if you have your shiz together you can fall prey to this game and all its traps and snares.

In today’s world, playing this game is as easy as sitting on my couch and opening my phone where, in high def pictures, I can see all of my friends on fabulous vacations, with their designer purses, and perfect children. (Can working people really take that many vacations? And, how did she have 3 children and still rock that two piece swimming suit?) Their houses look like they can be in architectural digest and they are always at a concert or GNO at some trendy local place. (How can people go out so much … I’d be exhausted!)  Here I am sitting on my couch in my Walmart pj’s with my dogs on my lap, who both need baths, drinking my sleepy time tea at 9:00 pm.

And, if I’m not careful, and very intentional, when I scan my Instagram or Facebook feeds, I can be left feeling … Less Than. Not enough. Sad. Depressed. Unworthy.  Anyone out there relate?

This is not a new discussion and this game has been around since the beginning of time. But, with the onset of social media, it’s become a big issue and a breaker of spirits and self-confidence. And as mid-lifers, empty nesters, 40, 50 and 60 year old women and men we are not immune to the lure of this game.

I am naturally inclined to compare, it’s part of my personality (once again, check out Enneagram 3s).  I’ve done it my whole life and very likely influenced my kids in a negative way through my own unhealthy need to compare. (That’s for a completely separate post entitled “All the way I’ve ruined my kids”. Stay tuned.)

I’m sure you’ve read these inspiring quotes before:

Don’t compare your everyday life to someone else’s highlight reel

Comparison is the thief of joy

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent

I love a great quote as much as the next person, but give me something tangible people!  Of course, deleting these apps, or limiting your time on social media is always an option.  I have gone on social media fasts before and they are great. You can certainly survive this crazy life without a Facebook account. But, even without social media, The Comparison Game is for real, people! It was around long before smart phones, the internet and social media. And, unless you are a hermit, you will likely face the truths of this game and how they can make you feel.  

Being grateful is a good antidote to comparison. I write down 5 things I’m grateful for each day. And, I can’t write down coffee everyday. It must be something new. This habit helps me throughout the day to look for things I am grateful for. Big or small, when you are looking, there are always things for which to be grateful. Especially coffee. I am always grateful for coffee.

But, having a lifetime of playing this game, the best advice I can give is to

RUN YOUR OWN RACE!

If you don’t have a race, GET ONE! Get off that couch and get one! Start a new business, train to run a 5K, write a book, start a podcast or a blog, volunteer for something you are passionate about, go back to school and get that degree. I’m still figuring out my new purpose as an empty nester, so right now, my race is figuring that out! 

At times in my life when I had a clear purpose and mission, I didn’t compare myself to others, because I was running full out for that race. I had confidence and passion, and when I have those things, I can feel happiness and joy for people around me, rather than envy and jealousy. When I am so busy doing my thing and being great at it, I don’t have time to worry about what others are doing. This is an inside job and you are never too old to work on you!

What do you do when you feel the pull to play The Comparison Game?  

Looking for something more? I highly recommend The Comparison Trap – a 28-Day Devotional by Sandra Stanley.  I was fortunate enough to attend the recording of the video study for this and it’s exceptional and can give you some concrete steps to take to know your worth.

Click on the link below to find these products on Amazon. Please note, I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com.

Part of my morning routine is to text my friend Chelsey with my goals and gratitude.  It’s our accountability system we implemented so we don’t lose our way. I hadn’t texted her in a few days, simply out of laziness.  But on Friday I texted her a picture, along with the text “I’ve been wallowing in my unhealthy 9 all week.  Woke up today PISSED OFF.” (Translation: I’m an Enneagram 3, and when I am stressed/emotionally unhealthy, I start to take on all the unhealthy aspects of an Enneagram 9.  Look it up, it’s so intriguing.)

Chelsey lives in Arizona and we have a 3 hour time difference so when she finally awoke, I immediately received the reply “I wondered where the hell you were!  Call me!”

The first thing she said to me was “You’re mad because you are playing small”.

Whoa…girl!  I’m an ACHIEVER.  I get shizz done.  I’m a go-big or go-home kinda gal. I don’t play small. But wait, do I? I have a beautiful paid for house, a husband who loves me for who I am, four productive and achieving children, the perfect grandchild, two adorable dogs, a job that provides me health insurance and a 401k. I’m comfortable. And guess what…no one who is comfortable is playing big. 

Don’t get me wrong, all of those things are amazing, and I am incredibly grateful for all I have!  God has provided for me in so many ways.  But comfortable is NOT playing big.  Comfortable is NOT what God intended for me, or my life.  Was that madness stirring in my soul this morning the Holy Spirit saying “SUSAN!  What in the world are you doing?  You have a good 25 years left to do MORE!  To make an impact, to bring Me glory, to live out the life I have intended for you?”  

My response – ok, yeah, I see what you are saying. My bookshelf and audible account look like the self-help section of a Barnes & Noble.  I’ve read it all.  And yeah, I get it.  Because playing big requires me to be uncomfortable.  And that’s hard, so yeah, ok. Maybe.

I got back to work, marinating on what she said to me, and the truth of it. I REALLY don’t want to be uncomfortable. 

Two hours later, I meet a longtime friend, Tracey, who I hadn’t spoken to in about 8 years (because we let life get in the way of the important things like friendships!) for coffee.  We caught up on all the kids and what’s going on in our lives. Then she says to me “Susan, do you ever feel like you are just made for so much more than the comfortable place you are in?”

Wait…WHAT?  We haven’t spoken in 8 years, and you are going to see right through me and call me out on it?  Right here in the coffee shop?! Cue the tears…right there in the coffee shop!  (Side note:  Enneagram 3’s only want to achieve and don’t like to talk about their feelings.  We avoid it at all costs. I will show you exactly what I want you to see, and it will appear perfect. Welcome to the life of a 3.)

OK, God!  I see you, and I see what you are doing here!  I know I have a thick skull and am hard to reach, because I always think I know best.  So thank you for slapping me in the face with it AGAIN in one day.  Stop being comfortable.

All Friday afternoon I thought about playing small and what playing BIG in my life would look like.  I’m not sure to be honest.  I spent so much of my life supporting others to play big in their life.  I don’t know what that means for me.

I went to bed with lots of unanswered questions, but excited for the future.  I woke up at 3:30 am Saturday morning with my mind spinning about what this all means. I couldn’t settle my brain to fall back asleep, so I really knew that I had to do something about this stirring.  No longer sitting in this comfortableness.  No longer waking up mad because I am playing small.

I don’t know EXACTLY what that will look like in my life, but I know something is coming.  Something big is coming.  Something that some of you will say, “That’s ridiculous, Susan. You can’t do that.”

Watch me.

Are you living in your comfortableness and feeling like there is so much more?  Comment below if you are tired of playing small, let me know I’m not alone!

Arleen and I met first at the football fields of our local rec league where our daughters both cheered for youth football teams and rec competition teams. Our girls cheered for different teams, but became team mates in middle school and high school where our friendship blossomed and we shared carpooling duties! And, as it is in the cheer world, we eventually ended up at the same competitive cheer gym. (It’s a small world, y’all!)

Before this new adventure, Arleen’s life was similar to a lot of ours in suburbia. Work and kids’ stuff. Boom. That’s all we had time and energy for, you know what I’m saying!? But, before all of that, Arleen made a living doing what she loved and was passionate about, singing and performing. Arleen’s love of singing started when she was about 5 and she landed the role of an Elf in her school play The Shoemaker and the Elves! She ended up with solos in her PTA programs and in 7^th grade asked for the solo in her church musical and sure enough, she got it! That’s it, she was hooked! Arleen became a professional performer at Six Flags Over Georgia, was a member of a female vocal band, Eclipse and eventually joined a band full time performing on weekends for weddings and corporate events.

This lifestyle was perfect for about 14 years into motherhood. She was home during the week while Bill worked, and worked weekends while Bill was home. Then those crazy years hit, middle school and high school, where your kids are CRAZY busy all day every day, even weekends, but they can’t drive yet. I know you know what I’m talking about! And, Arleen didn’t want to miss out on those times; the events, the games & competitions, the windshield time, etc. So, she let the band go, found a flexible “day job”, and joyfully spent weekends supporting her kids.

Fast forward ten years, Arleen & Bill are on their next great adventure in a new city. First day in Greenville, Arleen goes straight to Center Stage Theatre, a professional theater for the performing arts. Now is the time to rekindle that fire and get back on that stage! Over the last 4 years, Arleen has been in 4 shows; Hands on a Hard Body, Sister Act, Breaking Up is Hard to Do, and Into the Woods. It’s a pretty grueling schedule with 7 weeks of practice, Monday – Friday 7:00 pm – 10:00 pm, not to mention tech rehearsals which are 12 hours days, and then 4 weeks of performances! Oh, and did I mention Arleen also has two jobs? Yep…superwoman, or crazy? Or maybe both? But, what an example and inspiration for those of us still on the cusp of empty nesting! I have loved watching her from afar pursue her passion and figuring out what her new normal looks like.

In her valuable spare time, Arleen is also a talented paper crafter. Arleen was my Close to my Heart rep back in the day, (I know you had one too!) and we had so much fun scrapbooking our lives! Now, her paper crafting is more for her own creative release, but I wish she would open up an online shop, quite honestly. She would make a killing, her work is gorgeous! She creates the most beautiful cards using so many different and unique techniques.  And what a lost art, the sending of an actual card in the mail. You can find her work at @designedbyarleen on Instagram.

Arleen is currently taking a break from performing as she and Bill are planning for their 35^th wedding anniversary trip to Europe where they will be visiting England, Scotland and Wales in the fall. And, after 35 years, Arleen says “yep, I still like him!” Arleen’s next goal is to focus on getting healthy and spending time on herself. She wants to have the energy and stamina to do all the great things they want to do on their trip, and fit comfortably in that airplane seat for that 8 hour flight!  No matter what she does, I know I’ll love following along on Arleen’s next adventure!

What are you doing to rekindle a lost passion in your life?  Comment below!

All of those things above – SO AMAZING! Even the difficult, tragic and sad things have resulted in God’s blessings. But during that time, somehow, I got lost. Yeah, I know, I know…that’s so cliché. But ladies, sometimes as women we get so wrapped up in serving others and honestly, just surviving, we forget about our desires and what makes us happy. We forget about the talents we have and the dreams we put on the back shelf. And, I’m not sad about that, because I would never regret the life I have lived.

But, with my youngest graduating from high school this year and heading out to college 3 hours away, I have decide that this year will be the year of Susan’s Next Big Adventure: Exploration & Excellence. I have to thank my daughter Z and my good friend Chelsey for helping me put some legs to this idea. When Z was home for spring break last week, we were in the car and she googled “what to do when you are an empty nester” and found a list of 100 things to do when you when the last chick flies the coop. She started reading the list out loud and the items ranged from taking a cooking class to getting a divorce. (Yes, it really did have that listed!) But, it got me thinking that rather than just decide what I want to do, I need to figure it out by exploring all of the things!

The excellence part comes from my friend Chelsey, who you will see is obviously is an 8 on the Enneagram. Every day Chels and I text each other a picture of our Today Journal (yes, from Rachel Hollis). Our today journal includes 5 things we are grateful for and our 10 Dreams written out as if they have already occurred. We are iron sharpens iron friends and hold each other’s feet to the fire when it’s needed, encourage each other and pray for each other. Although she is 20 years younger than me, we have similar dreams and goals and she recently texted to me “Time to show your kids that excellence is the next best chapter ” Thank you God for great friends!

So, over the course of the next year (until I am 36 years from being a senior in high school), I am going to explore a variety of things to figure out how to make this next chapter excellent!
Here’s my list so far:

1. Learn to play a musical instrument – Thank you Amazon Prime for my cute pink Ukulele that I’ve already received. Mark has a steel drum collecting dust, so maybe he’ll start playing and we can start a band and retire on the beach playing for tourists as they drink fruity drinks with little paper umbrellas?
2. Interior Decorating – My house is pretty much decorated with family photos and dog toys, so this will be interesting! It’s never been a passion of mine because for most of my married life, our family motto has been “If it’s not broken, it’s not ours”. I’m starting with a bathroom…how hard can it be?
3. Meditating/Yoga – I KNOW this is so good for you, so it’s on my list. But two things; 1) My house has rarely been quiet enough for this, and 2) Do I really want to be alone with my thoughts?
4. Hiking – Most of my life I’ve had horrible allergies, but for the most part I seem to have outgrown them (perks of getting older?), so now seems like a good time to go out and enjoy nature more.
5. Gardening – I used to be a square foot gardener when my kids were little. Going to give this another try, and in case of a zombie apocalypse, I have a source of food.
6. Intentional friendships – For most of the past 35 years, my friends have been parents of my kid’s friends. Well, when those kids move away, the friendships seem to fade, because it’s not as convenient. This year, I’m going to rekindle those friendships and make new intentional friends. Even at age “35 years since I was a senior in high school”, iron sharpens iron friends are so important.
7. Entertaining/Couples Friends – Mark and I married when we were well into our forties, and we each had our own set of friends. It’s time for us to have friends together! We are both homebodies, so this one may take some bribery and coaxing! Although, we are pretty fun…you should be our friends!
8. Hand Lettering – Because so cute & trendy right now! Plus, I would love to create cute little cards to send to all my reinvigorated friendships in #6!
9. Marie Kondo-ing – I’ve been in this house since 1995. ‘Nuff said.
10. Minimalizing – Goes hand in hand with #9, but specifically I want to reduce my plastic use and create a capsule wardrobe. Time to be more socially conscious, better late than never, right?

I’d like to add a couple more items to this list, so please comment below with some ideas you think would be great for me or ideas that you are going to try! Although, please don’t recommend run a marathon or participate in a triathlon…never going to happen! Hiking and yoga, that’s my speed.

I am so excited to see where this journey takes me and how I will have changed over the course of a year! I will be documenting all of my successes and failures on my blog, my Instagram account (@nextchapterbestchapter) and my Facebook account (Next Chapter Best Chapter).  Don’t miss any of the posts, and sign up to receive emails below! I PROMISE I won’t fill up your inbox!)

I’m not stupid, I know how bad DC is for you…chock full of nasty stuff.  But I couldn’t resist the feel of an ice cold fountain Diet Coke sliding down my throat.  Heaven.  I’ve quit Diet Coke too many times to count, never lasting more than two weeks, probably caved we went out for Mexican food.  I had to have a Diet Coke with Mexican food.  It would be un-American not to.  It’s refreshing deliciousness called me back time and again. Then, I started Rachel Hollis’s #Last90Days Challenge in October.  She challenged us to do 5 small daily things, what she called 5 to Thrive:

1. Get up an hour earlier and use the time for yourself
2. Workout or physical activity for at least 30 minutes
3. Drink half of your body weight in ounces of water each day
4. Give up one food category you KNOW you shouldn’t be eating
5. Write down 10 things you’re grateful for every single day

For the first two weeks, I kind of/sort of did each of them every now and then, except #4 –  I never did that.  I knew I should, but no way was I giving up my DC.  (Way to jump in there Susan and really give the last 90 days all you’ve got!)   Then, Rachel did a re-boot when it was 75 days left.  Challenging those of us who didn’t really do anything to get back on track.  And, something inside me said…give it up SUSAN!  Quit being so wishy-washy and do something hard.  So, on October 15, 2018, I quit.  Cold turkey.  After 35 years, I gave it up.  I haven’t cheated once.  Thankfully, I didn’t have withdrawal symptoms.  Likely because I still drink coffee, so got my caffeine fix there!  Oh yeah!  But, truth be told, even after 100 days, I still get sudden urges to stop at QT and grab a DC.  But I don’t.  That’s not who I am anymore.  I’m not a Diet Coke drinker.  I’m one of those water drinkers now.  Go figure.

But even better than quitting DC,  that one single win has given me the confidence to tackle other challenges.  Because of this little (BIG) win of giving up Diet Coke, it has now been 25 days since I have eaten white sugar AND white flour.  (I’m totally eating cake on my birthday though!)  I also drink my daily water, keep a daily gratitude journal, get up at 5:00 am (on weekdays, I’m not insane guys!) to focus on my dreams and workout.  I’m nothing special.  I’m a regular girl.  I have started and stopped daily habits like Atlanta rush hour traffic.  But something seems different this time.  I have an accountability partner, and we don’t let each other off the hook for our daily habit commitments.  And, when you have one win, you want more.   The wins and the challenges become the addiction.  I can think of worse things to be addicted to.

If you had to give up one thing you are eating or doing that you KNOW is bad for you, what would it be?  And what would it take for you to give it up?  Comment here and let me know.  I’d love to cheer you on to a little (big) win!