With Valentine’s Day upon us, and all this talk about love, it’s interesting to note, that not everyone receives love the same way.   I think on some level I always knew this, but it didn’t really hit home until I ran across a little treasure that can change your relationships with your spouse, your children, your parents and siblings, and even your friends and co-workers.  The 5 Love Languages developed by Gary Chapman has been around for 25 years, and I wish I had know about it for that long!  This is a theory that assumes everyone receives love and feels love in one of 5 Love Languages.  There is a simple online quiz you can take and it will determine your Love Language, or the way you best receive love from others.    Your Love Language will be one of the following:

• Words of Affirmation – you feel love when someone affirms you with words
• Acts of Service – you feel love when someone does something for you, actions over words
• Receiving Gifts – you feel love when you receive a gift or token from someone
• Quality Time – you feel love when someone gives you their undivided attention
• Physical Touch – you feel love when someone physically touches you (mind out of the gutter peeps, this can be high fives, hand holding, hugging, cuddling, and yes, of course, sex!)

Click here to take the quiz.

Y’all, TAKE THE QUIZ!!  Once you know your love language, and the love language of your favorite people, it makes SO MUCH SENSE!  For example, my love language is Acts of Service, so while I love gifts and sweet words from from my husband, those don’t indicate love to me.  Now, if he were to fill up my car with gas or bring me a cup of coffee in the morning, then I KNOW HE LOVES ME!  My youngest daughter’s love language is Words of Affirmation, so for her 18^th birthday (with the help of her friend), we put a video together of her friends telling her why they love her.  One of the best gifts I’ve ever given.

Valentine’s Day should not be the only day to celebrate love in your life.  This should be an everyday kind of thing!  And, it’s the little daily things that really make a relationship successful.  I know most people really do want to show up for the people they love every single day and if you know your loved ones Love Language, it just makes it so much easier!  In my opinion, learning your love language is the best gift you can give this Valentine’s Day!

For more, check out the book, a #1 New York Times best seller, it’s been around for 25 years, but if you haven’t read this book or taken the quiz, do it now!  You won’t regret it!  Click on the picture below to order on Amazon.

Take the quiz and comment below with your Love Language!

1. Toy shopping – It is every man for themselves in the toy aisles between Thanksgiving and Christmas. When the bulk of my kids were little, online shopping was not a thing yet.  Amazon was just a baby who sold books and charged shipping.  If you wanted toys for your kids, you had to put on your armor, summons up all the patience you had and make the trek to your favorite toy store.  The nerdy moms went to Zany Brainy, (anyone else remember that store?) which wasn’t quite as chaotic.  The organized moms shopped year round so as to avoid the hectic holiday shopping and get the best deals all year long.  The crunchy moms made their gifts or purchased wooden toys for their kids.  Not me.  I wasn’t one of those moms.  I was the lunatic mom.  I went full on Toys R Us (also, remember that store?) shopping in the middle of December.  I paid full price and went head to head with the other lunatic moms.  Here’s how it would go down.  First, on a weekend (I know, right?), we would take the kids to Toys R Us and just walk around and let them play and see what they REALLY wanted, not just what they saw during commercials of Rugrats and Hey Arnold and thought they wanted.  It was our own market research.  Then, on Monday, when my big kids were at school and for the 3 hours my littles were in preschool, I would RUSH to Toys R Us, hope nothing I wanted was sold out, buy all the things, rush home, hide the loot in the shed, attic, scary room in the basement, rush back to preschool.  Whew…shopping was FINISHED, wasn’t it?  Well, I thought I was finished, until about 2 days before Christmas when we took stock of the loot, and inevitably, there would be inequities between the kids.  This was SO HARD with 4 kids…one kid would always seem to get shorted…back I go to Toys R Us.

1. The Elf – Yes, we had an elf. It wasn’t an Elf on the Shelf, this elf was different.  Brad had heard about this “boutique elf” from co-workers.  This elf was sold only in a posh toy store in Buckhead, GA.  It was sold only in the back of the store, and NEVER on display because these elves came straight from Santa’s workshop, so of course a child couldn’t see it in the store.  We must perpetuate the lie.  This elf was purchased in the back, money quickly and slyly exchanging hands like a kiddie crack street swap.  Little did we know what this clandestine purchase would lead to over the coming years…  Oh sure, at first it was clean harmless fun.  Our two elves, Dolly & Woody, would move around the house getting into a little mischief, like sitting in the Christmas tree, or eating marshmallows.  But, as the years wore on, one of two things would happen; the mischievousness was off the crazy meter such as sewing their own clothes and making their own Facebook page OR NOTHING would happen, they would simply stay in their spot for the night.  Did I really forget to move them, or what it some sort of unconscious rebellion to this insane tradition?  What’s one more lie to your kid?  It’s just like when the tooth fairy forgets to come, right?

1. Christmas Eve All Nighters – Why, oh why did we not pay the assembly fee? Were we just cheap and thought we were much more mechanically inclined than we actually were?  Or did we love staying up until 3:00 am, reading instructions that were presumably and hopefully in English, after too much holiday cheer with the Christmas Eve lobster bisque?  Did we love wondering if there was even going to be a Barbie Jeep ready to ride in the morning?  Was there perhaps a Barbie AAA who would come on Christmas Day to get her up and running?  Do my kids REALLY need brakes on their bikes?  At our house, Santa had all the toys assembled and ready to play with when the kids awoke on Christmas morning…what kind of maniac is that man?  Why did he hate us?  What happens at midnight when you realize you forgot the 9 volt batteries?  Take them out of the smoke detectors?    That may have happened at this home.  Or the inevitable run out to the local all-night convenience store because you forgot stocking stuffers and this year, everyone would get candy bars and taquitos.  Who doesn’t love a Christmas morning taquito?

I do miss the crazy chaotic Christmases we used to have, but I also enjoy more time for games, cooking, laughing and talking.  Less about what needs to get done, and more about just enjoying the limited time I have with these big kids of mine.   So, if you still have littles at home, enjoy the craziness, embrace it.  It only lasts for a short time.  And right now, it may drive you crazy, but in the future, you may actually miss it.  Kind of.