Pampering – Next Chapter Best Chapter

Irritated? Me too…

Susan — Mon, 10 Feb 2020 13:00:00 +0000

I’m currently reading a book that challenged me to find something that irritates, frustrates or downright angers me, and look for the things in that situation for which I could be thankful. An exercise in gratitude. I get it. It’s easy to find gratitude in the things that make us happy, make our lives easy and more fulfilled. But to find something good out of something that irritates me, come on! Why? Can’t I just move on and forget about it? Shove it under the rug and stew about it like I always do? Letting the irritation rise up at some inopportune time at some poor clueless soul who happens to be nearby? Ok, ok already. Here’s what’s irritating me most at this very minute. GETTING OLD. So many things about getting old results in DAILY irritations, so I created a handy list of these irritations and the appropriate gratitudes: (Feel free to print off and use as your daily gratitude list if you would like…not copyright protected.)

Sporting shades and cheaters. Don’t be jealous of my coolness.

Declining Eyesight – Thank you eyes for your steady decline the week I turned 40. Thank you for petering out and allowing me to purchase cheaters, for which I am forever grateful. My mandatory cheaters serve so many purposes, not only allowing me to see menus in dark restaurants, my text messages (because I refuse to have font the size of Montana) and even this computer screen but, since I need you close by at all times, you also act as a wonderful hair accessory.

Grey hair – Hello hair, we’ve been together a long time. You have been long and short, curly and straight. We’ve been good partners throughout my 53 years. You have provided warmth on cold days, you look great in a pony on a hot Georgia summer day. You have been grabbed by the sticky chubby infant hands of my 4 kids and dressed up on formal dates. And, I get it…you are worn down. Thank you for turning grey and requiring me to color you every six weeks, Ok, it should really be 4 weeks, but who has time for that? One day my grey friend, you will be consistent enough for me to just let you go in all your grey glory. For now, I will thank you for the times you peek out, shimmering in my hair, reflecting the light like a crystal tiara, making me look like the queen I am.

Thinning top lip – Oh top lip, how I miss you so much. Where did you go, I can’t seem to find you. My attempts at recreating you leave me looking like Bozo, so I must do without. Although I miss you terribly, I am grateful that my lipstick lasts oh so much longer. And while we are chatting, lips, thank you for the little lines, and in some cases valleys, that lead away from you, and bring along that little line of lipstick, making me look like an aging Picasso painting, a work of art! You’re the best!

Thank you old age for requiring huge amounts of water consumption and little to no sleep.

Hot flashes – What can I say dear friend. Thank you for your sudden onset at any time of day or night. You don’t care where I am or who I am with, you just show up! I could be giving a presentation at work, having coffee with a girlfriend, or simply sleeping at night. Your sudden appearances in my daily life and devoted friendship help make me more spontaneous, learn perseverance and poise, all while wiping sweat off my upper lip and hoping I put on deodorant. AND the need to cool off with an ice cold glass of water is so helpful with reaching my goal of 100 oz of water a day. What a team player, the real MVP!

Dry skin – Thank you estrogen levels for dropping as I age and causing dry, wrinkled, itchy skin. Because of you, I now get to moisturize on a daily basis! Forcing me to pamper myself on the daily, because if I miss one day, I may claw my legs off in the middle of the night scratching. Or if I forget to slather my face with super thick Mary Kay Night Treatment cream before bed, my face feels like a shriveled up raisin when I wake up. So thank you for reminding me that self-care is not selfish.

So many products to keep my skin moisturized!

Sleep, where are you? – While I once required a solid 8 hours of sleep, I no longer require as much of you as I once did. Never mind that I now have so much time to enjoy you … now that I don’t have babies waking me up in the middle of the night or the need to get up, fix breakfast and get a child on the bus at 7:00 am, you have gone on without me. I’m not sure why, because I really do love you and miss you and wish I could have more of you. But for now, my five to six, and on a good day seven hours of sleep do me well. Thank you for the extra time in my day to think about all the things that irritate me and how I can be thankful for them.

Creaky knees – You are my constant. Thank you for the reminders when I stand up, sit down, walk downstairs, walk upstairs, move my body in general, that I am old, er um, I mean experienced. I’m not sure what I did to deserve you, because it wasn’t like I spent my youth playing football or tumbling. Ok, so I may be carrying a few extra pounds, but for some reason, I think you would still be here for me even if I looked like the super model I was in my younger days (obviously I jest here). You will forever be the reminder of the strollers I have pushed around my hilly neighborhood, babies I have lugged up and down stairs, the endless walking at cheer competitions and the squatting down to wipe noses, put Band-Aids on little knees and give hugs. Thank you friend for working hard during those years.

Honorable mention goes to hair – lack of hair in some places and way too much hair in random, weird, hard to see and manage places. Thanks for keeping me on my toes.

Ok..yep. Definitely feel better. Thanks book that irritated me with your silly gratitude exercise.

Did I miss anything? Comment below with your gratefulness!

Tales of A Self Care Martyr

Susan — Tue, 05 Feb 2019 04:02:09 +0000

I admittedly play the martyr when it comes to self-care. It became a bad habit early in my life when I gave everything I had to my husband, children, work, house, volunteering, you name it. I did it all, and excelled in it. And poor, poor, pitiful me. I never had time to take care of myself. As I look back now, and become my own Monday morning therapist, I can see it was me trying to prove my love to my family and say “Look at me, look at all I do for YOU. Aren’t I the best wife, mother, employee? No one can be as good at this as me!” That’s the #3 Enneagram in me…needing validation. Can you tell I’m just a little obsessed with the Enneagram?

I digress. So, in this new stage of my life, I am focusing a little more on self-care, and being less of a martyr. It’s really not a good look on me anyway, so time to let it go. But, here is my struggle with all of the typical self-care routines many women swear by:

Massages – Please don’t judge, but I just don’t like them! It could stem back to the first one I ever had at a spa in Munich, Germany. It has to do with the German’s complete lack of inhibitions, my modesty and several people walking into my massage room when I was disrobed. It was a lot for my Midwestern sensibilities. My husband purchased 3 massage gift certificates almost 3 years ago for my birthday. I still have 2 left. I wonder if they are even valid anymore.
Facials – I have had two professional facials in my life, and honestly, not impressed. I am a consultant for a skin care and beauty company, and I have great products and do take care of my skin. So…no thanks. I’m self-critical enough of myself, I don’t need you telling me how big my pores are and how deep my wrinkles are, because they’re not.
Baths – Now, I do enjoy a nice bath, a good book, a glass of wine. But, does anyone else feel like they need to shower after a bath? It’s nice while I’m in there soaking, but then if I start thinking about how I’m sitting in the water that is rinsing all the gunk off of me. I need to stop thinking.
Take a run – Ok, this just cracks me up that some women consider this self-care. I WISH I was a runner. I wish I loved it. But, there isn’t a good enough sports bra out there for me to be a runner. Enough said.

What I have realized over my 50-something years is that self-care is highly personal. It’s not the same for everyone. And that’s ok. I am slowly figuring out what self-care means to me. Here’s my current list of 10 things I’m working on to rejuvenate and refresh myself:

Quiet time – I regularly get up early before everyone else and enjoy a cup of coffee and quiet time. I use this time to journal, read my bible, read a book. It starts my day off right.
Being intentional with friendships – Two of my favorite sayings are: “You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with”- Jim Rohn and “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another” – Proverbs 27:17. I’m working on my circle of friends and really trying to cultivate great friendships with women who lift and support each other, who make me be a better friend, wife, mother, Jesus follower.
Removing toxic people from my social media accounts – Social media can be good or bad depending on who you follow, friend, like. I’m in the process of culling my accounts to feed myself positive, helpful information, rather than negative and toxic messages.
Giving up Diet Coke – Check out my journey here, on how I cracked this 35 year habit.
Getting 30 minutes of activity daily – Yes, I work out, but if I don’t, I’m promising myself 30 minutes of some kind of activity. Walking the dogs, gardening, you get the picture.
Joined a book club – We are on our 3^rd book, and I am thoroughly enjoying the books and this group of women.
Joined a bible study – I joined an established group of women who are my age, and in my stage of life. It’s great having women who know what I am going through and pray for me and my family daily.
Started a gratitude journal – I start the day by writing down 5 things I am grateful for. Sometimes it’s deep & insightful, sometimes I’m just grateful for a hot cup of coffee. I’m going to begin incorporating this at night before I go to bed as well.
Started Self-Care Sunday at home – I give myself a facial, give my hair some extra love with a hydrating mask and treatments and give myself a manicure.
Spending more time outside – I live in the south, so most of the year it’s tolerable to be outside. Fresh air and sunshine refreshes and restores me.

So, how do you take care of yourself? Comment below!