Part of my morning routine is to text my friend Chelsey with my goals and gratitude.  It’s our accountability system we implemented so we don’t lose our way. I hadn’t texted her in a few days, simply out of laziness.  But on Friday I texted her a picture, along with the text “I’ve been wallowing in my unhealthy 9 all week.  Woke up today PISSED OFF.” (Translation: I’m an Enneagram 3, and when I am stressed/emotionally unhealthy, I start to take on all the unhealthy aspects of an Enneagram 9.  Look it up, it’s so intriguing.)

Chelsey lives in Arizona and we have a 3 hour time difference so when she finally awoke, I immediately received the reply “I wondered where the hell you were!  Call me!”

The first thing she said to me was “You’re mad because you are playing small”.

Whoa…girl!  I’m an ACHIEVER.  I get shizz done.  I’m a go-big or go-home kinda gal. I don’t play small. But wait, do I? I have a beautiful paid for house, a husband who loves me for who I am, four productive and achieving children, the perfect grandchild, two adorable dogs, a job that provides me health insurance and a 401k. I’m comfortable. And guess what…no one who is comfortable is playing big. 

Don’t get me wrong, all of those things are amazing, and I am incredibly grateful for all I have!  God has provided for me in so many ways.  But comfortable is NOT playing big.  Comfortable is NOT what God intended for me, or my life.  Was that madness stirring in my soul this morning the Holy Spirit saying “SUSAN!  What in the world are you doing?  You have a good 25 years left to do MORE!  To make an impact, to bring Me glory, to live out the life I have intended for you?”  

My response – ok, yeah, I see what you are saying. My bookshelf and audible account look like the self-help section of a Barnes & Noble.  I’ve read it all.  And yeah, I get it.  Because playing big requires me to be uncomfortable.  And that’s hard, so yeah, ok. Maybe.

I got back to work, marinating on what she said to me, and the truth of it. I REALLY don’t want to be uncomfortable. 

Two hours later, I meet a longtime friend, Tracey, who I hadn’t spoken to in about 8 years (because we let life get in the way of the important things like friendships!) for coffee.  We caught up on all the kids and what’s going on in our lives. Then she says to me “Susan, do you ever feel like you are just made for so much more than the comfortable place you are in?”

Wait…WHAT?  We haven’t spoken in 8 years, and you are going to see right through me and call me out on it?  Right here in the coffee shop?! Cue the tears…right there in the coffee shop!  (Side note:  Enneagram 3’s only want to achieve and don’t like to talk about their feelings.  We avoid it at all costs. I will show you exactly what I want you to see, and it will appear perfect. Welcome to the life of a 3.)

OK, God!  I see you, and I see what you are doing here!  I know I have a thick skull and am hard to reach, because I always think I know best.  So thank you for slapping me in the face with it AGAIN in one day.  Stop being comfortable.

All Friday afternoon I thought about playing small and what playing BIG in my life would look like.  I’m not sure to be honest.  I spent so much of my life supporting others to play big in their life.  I don’t know what that means for me.

I went to bed with lots of unanswered questions, but excited for the future.  I woke up at 3:30 am Saturday morning with my mind spinning about what this all means. I couldn’t settle my brain to fall back asleep, so I really knew that I had to do something about this stirring.  No longer sitting in this comfortableness.  No longer waking up mad because I am playing small.

I don’t know EXACTLY what that will look like in my life, but I know something is coming.  Something big is coming.  Something that some of you will say, “That’s ridiculous, Susan. You can’t do that.”

Watch me.

Are you living in your comfortableness and feeling like there is so much more?  Comment below if you are tired of playing small, let me know I’m not alone!

With Valentine’s Day upon us, and all this talk about love, it’s interesting to note, that not everyone receives love the same way.   I think on some level I always knew this, but it didn’t really hit home until I ran across a little treasure that can change your relationships with your spouse, your children, your parents and siblings, and even your friends and co-workers.  The 5 Love Languages developed by Gary Chapman has been around for 25 years, and I wish I had know about it for that long!  This is a theory that assumes everyone receives love and feels love in one of 5 Love Languages.  There is a simple online quiz you can take and it will determine your Love Language, or the way you best receive love from others.    Your Love Language will be one of the following:

• Words of Affirmation – you feel love when someone affirms you with words
• Acts of Service – you feel love when someone does something for you, actions over words
• Receiving Gifts – you feel love when you receive a gift or token from someone
• Quality Time – you feel love when someone gives you their undivided attention
• Physical Touch – you feel love when someone physically touches you (mind out of the gutter peeps, this can be high fives, hand holding, hugging, cuddling, and yes, of course, sex!)

Click here to take the quiz.

Y’all, TAKE THE QUIZ!!  Once you know your love language, and the love language of your favorite people, it makes SO MUCH SENSE!  For example, my love language is Acts of Service, so while I love gifts and sweet words from from my husband, those don’t indicate love to me.  Now, if he were to fill up my car with gas or bring me a cup of coffee in the morning, then I KNOW HE LOVES ME!  My youngest daughter’s love language is Words of Affirmation, so for her 18^th birthday (with the help of her friend), we put a video together of her friends telling her why they love her.  One of the best gifts I’ve ever given.

Valentine’s Day should not be the only day to celebrate love in your life.  This should be an everyday kind of thing!  And, it’s the little daily things that really make a relationship successful.  I know most people really do want to show up for the people they love every single day and if you know your loved ones Love Language, it just makes it so much easier!  In my opinion, learning your love language is the best gift you can give this Valentine’s Day!

For more, check out the book, a #1 New York Times best seller, it’s been around for 25 years, but if you haven’t read this book or taken the quiz, do it now!  You won’t regret it!  Click on the picture below to order on Amazon.

Take the quiz and comment below with your Love Language!