20 Days In: What I wish 13-year-old Susie knew

March 24, 2022

I can’t believe I am 20 days into my Next Chapter Best Chapter road trip. For those of you new to this blog, I am a recently divorced empty-nester and on March 5, 2022, I loaded up my car and my dog and started a 4-month journey. I will be touring the US visiting family and friends. I will be crossing off my bucket list 5 of the 6 US states I have never visited. And even more importantly, I am going on an adventure of self-discovery. My own little Eat, Pray, Love journey.

Let’s first look at my current road trip statistics:

As you can see, these first 20 days have been a whirlwind.

I am grateful that the pace has settled down and I am finding my routine and my rhythm. If you know me, you know I operate best when I have a routine and know what to expect! I’ll be at my current location in San Diego for the next 10 days or so, and it’s given me an opportunity to get settled, focus on work, and some of my intentions for this trip.

When I came up with this hair-brained idea back in the fall, it originated out of a desire to complete my bucket list item of visiting all 50 states. But as my divorce was finalized, I knew I needed it to be more than that. I needed to figure out who I am now, in this phase of my life. In my previous phases of life, I was a student, an employee, a wife, a working mom, a stay-at-home mom, a single mom, a remarried woman with a very dysfunctional blended family, an unhappily married empty nester, and now a happy and single empty nester.

Part of figuring out who I am now, what I want out of my life, is reflecting on those past stages of my life. What caused me joy and led to a healthy relationship with myself and others? What caused me stress and pain and led to an unhealthy relationship with myself and others?

I’m not one to live a life of regret. I 100% believe that every decision I made in my life was the best decision I could have made based on the information I had and the frame of mind I was in at the time. And, I love my life. Even the sadness, missteps, and tragedies. They have made me who I am today. However, I am grateful that as the years have gone on, I have become so much more self-aware and cognizant of why I react the way I do to situations and people. I am grateful I am growing as a person both in understanding myself and others around me. But I do feel like if I had a little more wisdom I may have made different decisions.

So, I’m starting a little series called,

What would 56-year-old Susan tell “then” Susan.

Maybe some of this will resonate with you as well!

Chapter 1: What would 56-year-old Susan tell 13-year-old Susie.

Before we do, I need to set the stage and tell you a little bit about 13-year-old me. My dad was a Marine Corps pilot and was killed in action in Vietnam in 1968 when I was 2 years old. Sadly, I don’t have any memories of him. My mom married my stepdad, who was a great guy when I was 4 years old. At this stage of my life, we lived in Walnut, CA (Southern CA) and had a beach house in San Clemente, CA where we would spend weekends and holidays. My mom worked full time and my stepdad owned his own business. I wore Vans and Chemin de Fer jeans. We had 5 kids in our family ranging in age from 15 to newborn. My stepdad was ready to sell his business and they decided to move us from Southern California back to the Midwest where both my mom and stepdad were raised. So, they purchased 4 acres and a 1904 farmhouse in rural Nebraska outside a town of about 3500. We were 5 miles from town, and our nearest neighbor was 1/4 mile away. We moved there from southern California. I was 13. And a girl. This did not go over well, people! I may or may have done some destructive and self-sabotaging things at this age.

So here are a few things I would tell 13-year-old Susie.

Other 8^th graders in Nebraska will NOT think you are cool because you are from California. They are not impressed with your Vans and Chemin de Fer jeans. You will cry a lot those first few weeks in Nebraska. Stay humble, be sweet, and I promise, you will make friends.

Speaking of what people think of you… STOP CARING ABOUT THAT. You worry way too much about what others think. What do YOU think of YOU? Love yourself. Love your strengths and talents and love your flaws and imperfections. It’s what makes you, YOU! The sooner you learn that the happier you will be with your life, and you will attract friends and people into your life who love you for all those reasons as well!

Stop being boy crazy. I know a lot of 13-year-old girls are boy crazy, but that look is not good on you.

Those self-destructive things you are going to do, think, say as you get older…they are only hurting YOU. No one else. So, don’t even go there Susie, you are worth so much more.

In 1982, Diet Coke will be invented. DO NOT START DRINKING IT! It will be your worst addiction.

What advice would you give your 13-year-old self?

If you don’t already, follow me on Instagram and Facebook. I am posting daily on my stories of all my adventures! Here are a few highlights from the last 10 days!