My Biggest Pet Peeve

Pet Peeves.  We all have them.  That ONE THING that drives you absolutely crazy!  Is your pet peeve people who chew too loudly?  Slow drivers in the fast lane?  Mean girls?  People who are always late or don’t respect your time?  Maybe it’s when someone constantly interrupts you?  Maybe someone you know says annoying words such as “fixin’ to” or “hisself”.  There are as many pet peeves as there are people on this earth.

Well, here’s my pet peeve:  When people say “Your kids are so good.  You are SO LUCKY!”  Wait…what???  LUCKY?  Luck has absolutely nothing to do with it!  By saying I’m lucky, you are completely discounting my children’s hard work, discipline, mistakes and lessons learned.  You are saying that it’s just luck of the draw if a child is respectful and kind or when a child grows up into a respectable, hardworking adult. You are belittling my prayers and tears during the hard times of raising a child.

I am not a perfect parent.  Not by any stretch of the imagination.  I do have great kids, all 4 of them, who are not perfect either.  Believe me…I have had doors slammed, eyes rolled, smart-assery given, temper tantrums thrown in the cereal aisle at Kroger.  I have been lied to and found things I wish I hadn’t.  I have cried many tears behind closed doors.  This was as recently as this weekend, my friends.  Parenting is a never ending job.  It’s hard, and luck doesn’t even play into it.  It’s so many prayers, and discussions, books read, trial and error and tears.  So many tears.

But, I believe they have all grown into amazing young adults because of a few key things their dad and I committed to while raising them:

• Have a united front.  We ALWAYS supported each other’s discipline in front of our kids.  Even if we didn’t agree with the discipline, we would talk about it in private and figure out how to address it the next time.  If you argue with your spouse in front of your kids about discipline, the kids will know they can work you against each other.
• Find their pain point and don’t threaten anything you won’t go through with. Y’all…don’t threaten to throw the iPad out the window, unless you are willing to throw the iPad out the window!  Hollow threats are worthless.  One of my sons loved to be outside, digging in the dirt, climbing trees, catching snakes.  All it took was one time of not allowing him to go outside, and his behavior was corrected.  I never had to do it again.  That was his pain point.
• Please, I beg of you…do not count to 3! If it’s not acceptable behavior at 3, it’s not at 1.  Stop the insanity!
• Respect your child – I always say please and thank you to my children. You must give respect to get respect.
• Do all of the above EARLY in their life, before they are 5! Then the discipline turns to training and coaching, because they know the consequences of their actions.

None of these things are easy.  When you are going through it, you certainly don’t feel lucky.  But these tips worked for us.  I have 4 kids, who love and respect me, who are genuinely good people.   Have they slipped up, made mistakes even as young adults? Of course, they are human and we are all flawed!  But it’s ok, because I know their foundation is solid.  And, that makes all the “luck” worth it!

What is your pet peeve or even better, what was your parenting “hack” for raising great kids? Comment below!